Here We Go!

So, if you are a current, former, or aspiring surrogate, you will know this feeling well.  It is the intense, belly-clawing, bating-breath feeling of I-Need-To-Be-Matched-Right-Now.  AKA Impatience with a capital I.  I liken it to the feeling of nesting in the 3rd trimester, where you cannot get your house clean enough, despite raging Braxton Hicks, back pain, exhaustion, etcetera.  You will scour every classified ad, look up every agency, even if you have an agency that you know is working hard to find the perfect match for you.  And maybe you will place an ad.  And maybe you will get a response.  And maybe you will realize, quickly, that the respondent is amazing.  Wonderful.  Perfect.  You agree on everything.  You have similar philosophies on pregnancy, labor, delivery.  Maybe you even both use smiley faces in your E-mails.  And then you will recommend your agency.  And then she will contact them.

And then you will be matched.  In a matter of 3 days.  That's just what happened to me!

I am thrilled to be working with such a wonderful woman and her husband, and equally thrilled to be working with my agency again.  She goes to her RE on Friday to arm herself with knowledge, a plan, and a timeline.  And?

Friday can't get here soon enough.

Here we go!

Moving Forward?

I will pretend I am moving forward, at least!  I had a short (but great) conversation with my agency director, and she knows that we are SO ready for surrogacy #2 and all about moving forward.  There is a couple she has in mind for me that is semi-local, and I do really hope it works out with them.  In the meantime, I am continuing to pump and donate milk.  I was incredibly surprised at how much I don't hate pumping this time around - of course, I had an awful manual pump last time and, since I was pumping to feed my own child, I was SO stressed about it.  I have been staying off a lot of the surrogacy groups because it always makes me so impatient about the process - I can't wait to go through all the things that other surrogates are going through.  Even though, just a year ago, I was SO glad to be past all the matching/screening/cycling craziness!

Here's to hoping that there is a match in my near future!

Adventures in Gestational Surrogacy

I have now been in the surrogacy world, rubbing elbows with some of the most thoughtful, kind, wise, and amazing folks, for almost four years now. FOUR. I created this blog in those very beginning days of my journey, but just could never find the time, will, and good-old-fashioned effort to write about what I was going through. I was too in-the-moment, too-overwhelmed by all the bits and pieces of emotion, trial, excitement, worry, and STUFF that surrogacy involved to take time to write out thoughts, feelings, or anything else. I am determined to try again, as I would love to be able to read over my journey again, as well as to point others to this blog in the hopes it may help them in their own journeys. 

 I have named this blog 280 Degrees as that is a general gestation of a normal pregnancy - though both of mine have been 291 days and 288 days respectively. I just like to bake babies a little extra brown around the edges. 

A little about me. I am a 31-year old mommy of a sweet, bossy independent, inquisitive 4-year old girl. Surrogacy was something that I felt called to do early in life, before I knew it was something I could pursue in the real world instead of in my thoughts and imagination. After the birth of my daughter, I was really missing pregnancy - I LOVE being pregnant, it is such an amazing and spiritual experience for me. I knew that I wanted that experience again, but I wasn't sold on having another of our own. I also looked at how much joy, love, and meaning our daughter had brought into our life, and I knew helping to bring that gift to another couple would be such a blessing to me. So, I started reading, researching, and asking about one bazillion questions. Several months into my research, I met a lovely woman who was looking for a gestational surrogate to help her and her husband have a child. After months of contract reviews, medical screenings, and psychological sessions, we attempted our first IVF transfer with two frozen embryos. Nine days later, my blood tested negative - no pregnancy for us. We attempted again immediately, this time with the remaining three frozen embryos. Again, my blood tested negative. We parted ways amicably, and my first experience with surrogacy, while such an important learning experience full of wonderful people, was a disappointment as it did not result in a child. I then endured a failed match, which opened a window to a wonderful, perfect match for us. After another several months of contracts, screenings, delays, miscommunications, and general hurry-up-and-wait (this should be a class taught to ALL surrogates and intended parents!), we were transferring one beautiful fresh embryo. That embryo implanted, grew, thrived, and kicked me for months before she was delivered to her parents' waiting arms in August 2013. While I was more than ready to give this sweet girl back to her parents to love, snuggle, and raise, I found myself wishing for the experience again not long after. My husband and I were contemplating another of our own, but we just weren't there yet. We had another (of many) conversations about the risk to my fertility, if we would be happy and fulfilled with our single child, and we agreed to start this surrogacy madness all over again. This will (hopefully) chronicle that journey, sharing all the medical tests, phone calls, excited text messages, husband-delivered bootie shots, and that all-consuming, beautiful, and life-changing moment of delivery. I look forward to bringing all of that to you, and hope you look forward to reading it!